Realization
by Thessian Shadow
Summary: Two years of marching band, but which is good, and which is bad? [Songfic to Taking over Me by Evanescence.]


_A/N: This is a true story about how marching band effects my life. I had never been given the hance to do something besides dance, and I wasn't very good at that, so here's my story._

_Taking Over Me_

_You don't remember me,_

_but I remember you._

_I lie awake and try so hard_

_not to think of you,_

_but who can decide what they dream,_

_and dream I do..._

All throughout my life, I was told that I had a bright future. What is a future if you have nothing to do in it? I had asked myself these questions during my seventh and eighth grade years. No one knew how far I was slipping except my band director, Debbie Cooper. She had seen how devoted I was to my woodwind instrument, and didn't want to watch me go any farther down in my own misery. She offered me the chance to ho for Region band, but when I declined, she saw that I had shards of a dream embedded in my mind. I just couldn't put them together. My soul concern was to make it through those years as quick as humanly possible. Her concern was to reawaken the spirit that had fallen so far, and bring it back to the light.

_I believe in you,_

_I'll give up everything just to find you._

_I have th be with you,_

_to live, to breathe, _

_You're taking over me._

The sooner that I realized the truth, the sooner I could move on. There was no way of escaping the future, and I'd have to live with that. A year later, I had actually thought of going for first chair in wind ensembleconcert band, but I wasn't sure if I was the right person for the job. Heaven forbid a half blind teen lead a prissy ass section full of preps, but I realized that if I didn't, Ashley Jones would have taken over again. The whole rest of term, I felt that I had done all that I wanted, until..."The high school band director, Mr. Bruce is coming to hold auditions for the high school woodwinds class next year." It was then that I faced a rift in the ever calm river that was my life. To tryk or not to try, that was the question. Although some weren't going, I had to. I couldn't let all the time I had worked my way up to the top be in vain.

_Have you forgotten all and all_

_and all we had?_

_You saw me more than my love for you,_

_and touched my hand._

_I knew you loved me then._

I had long forgotten what it was like to have an ambition, a drive to do all I could, the urge, but it was soon realized when he said that I had made it. I had made the class... but did that mean marching band, or just wind ensemble? The weeks of summer slipped by quicker then I had hoped, and soon I had to be awake by seven, and at the high school by eight fourty on my spot ready for band camp to start. By the time I started likeng the work that we did every tuesday and thursday after school, the season was almost over. State was all that was left. The competition went on, and after, when we all were hot and tired, the only thing we could think about was going home, and hearing the end of season speach. The judges called us as third in state, and the look on Dave Bruce's face at that moment was priceless. To know that we were part of a great organization like this was like removing all the depression off my shoulders, like a horrid burden suddenly lifted, but the victory wasn't lived there. At the last home game, we were awarded the medals, and celebrated afterward.

_I believe in you,_

_I'll give up everything just to find you._

_I have to be with you,_

_to live, to beathe,_

_you're taking over me._

Victory was short lived, but we all agreed on one thing. We had to do it next year. That was easier said than done. We came to find out that next year would be a year of hell for all of us... even the director, who always enjoyed himself. Dave Bruce seemed super tense this year. He gave us a hard show, and hoped that we could do it. We found out that he was to have a baby boy, Connor Slade Bruce. Hopefully, his son would be a band nerd like his dad, but he was having problems. Connor was having to have a blood transfusion. This put Mr. B out of the job for a couple days at a time. Half way through the season, our nerves were to the breaking point. The freshmen were acting like they were always tired, they had us to read their cordinate sheets then set them right. By State competition that year, we were all out of hope.

_I look in the mirror,_

_and see your face._

_If I look deep enough,_

_so many things inside_

_that are just like you are taking over._

At State, we bombed it. Eighth place, that was worse than Chapman High School beating us at a football game. We regretted that performance, but we had Grand Nationals to go. Mr. Bruce tried to encourage us a good few times during the interval, but it was a futile attempt. We had gone so far that we didn't think we'd ever make a two at Grand Nationals. That would have been a tragedy. During the weeks that followed, freshmen dropped out by the second. They claimed that they had other important things to do than to hang around a balding thirty year old band director.

_I believe in you,_

_I'll give up everything just to find you._

_I have to be with you,_

_to live, to breathe,_

_you're taking over me._


End file.
